Would you believe I’m introverted? Or at least I used to be?
- I was the girl who arranged her camp schedule to make sure she was there with her younger friends.
- The girl who wouldn’t go get her photography mentor a glass of water at a wedding because it involved talking to people I didn’t know.
- The homeschooled girl who chose first period art class every morning for two years in high school because it was familiar & I could hide behind my art.
- The girl who chose to do online college because the thought of being on a college campus & being around people she didn’t know made her anxious.
But I’m not really that girl anymore, at least not completely. The Lord introduced photography into that girl’s life not just to fuel her dreams, but to transform her into the woman he created her to be.
I used my introverted-ness and homeschool background as an excuse to stay the same. But really, it was fear. I was scared to change and grow because at the root of it all, the change brought so much unknown that I wasn’t ready for.
But when I set my heart on becoming a wedding photographer, my introverted excuses didn’t cut it anymore. I couldn’t just hide because my dream required me to be front and center and ready to see so many new faces. I had to be okay with directing large groups and creating for people I’d never met before. And that’s just the half of it!
I didn’t change alone, though. The Holy Spirit brought people into my life that challenged me to grow and expand my horizons. Somewhere between a photography internship with Cyrissa (Sparkle Society), summers of being a camp counselor, friendships with more outgoing friends & stepping into leadership at my church, the Rachael you see today was forged.
And I’m thankful for the change. I’ve become more of who the Lord has made me to be and less afraid of change. I’m not so afraid of the unknown and more ready to dance to the spontaneous rhythm of Jesus’ music. And I’ve learned that a life of faith is more about being obedient than waiting for things to be right or for this huge sign in the sky pointing me in a certain direction. The Holy Spirit molds and shapes in the ordinary and most times his leading can go unnoticed if you aren’t careful.
Obviously there are still things he’s refining in me. But today, I’m thankful for the introverted girl. Because without her, I wouldn’t know God’s goodness & faithfulness in all seasons of my life.